They F*** You Up eBook

Do your relationships tend to follow the same destructive pattern? Do you feel trapped by your family's expectations of you? Does your life seem overwhelmingly governed by jealousy or competitiveness or lack of confidence? Current fashion holds that this is all down to genes - we are the victims of what we inherit and can do little to change that. But in this book, clinical psychologist Oliver James shows that, more than genes, it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. The legacy of this early care is lifelong and startlingly far-reaching. Through case histories and his own wide-ranging research, James reveals that childhood experience dominates our choice of friends and lovers, defines our interests and professional drive and even determines how prone we might be to emotional and mental problems. The influence of the formative years, James contends, actually affects the development of our brains, moulding their chemistry and patterns of electrical messages. Nurture, in effect, shapes our very nature. James combines scientific study with revealing interviews with, among others, Stephen Fry and Jeffrey Archer, and he explores the psychobiographies of the likes of Woody Allen, Mia Farrow and Prince Charles. This text shows that understanding your past is the first step to controlling your present. To this end, each chapter includes a searching questionnaire that enables you to perform an "emotional audit" and become more aware of your role in your own unique family drama.